I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
