Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
