home. puking in laundry basket.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Randomize
