I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Define "chronic" masturbator.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
