There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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