I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
