So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
