You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
