I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
