I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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