Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize