youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
