thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
