Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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