dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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