just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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