I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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