State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I'm both gender and math confused
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
