I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
