You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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