problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you will always have a special place in my vag
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
