scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
