So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Randomize
