i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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