My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
