So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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