You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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