I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
