Have you finally orgasmed yet?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
And then my night got REAL pukey
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
