You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Randomize
