sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Moan for me like Helen Keller
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
