Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
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