He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
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