38 yer olds are good kisserssss
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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