so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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