My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
