I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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