2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Randomize
