do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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