I hate all girls vehemently.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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