That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
