At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
