the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
