you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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