i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
