She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
This house was built for laser tag.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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