I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize
