its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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