all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
