Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
