Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
