Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Hippo gnu deer
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize