Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
