Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
