I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize