Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
